Monday, August 12, 2013

American Supermom or A Mom After God's Heart? (Part 1)

"Making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Ephesians 5:16-17

She gets up early. She has so much to do today, so much to accomplish! She checks her email's and her phone, checks the news and rushes around to eat and shower. She let's the maid in and the contractor who is doing her bathroom remodel. She gets her kids up and dressed and rushes them to eat their breakfast. While they eat she checks over her grocery list. They aren't eating fast enough and they are laughing and seem to be dilly dallying! She sharply says to her kids, "Hurry up!" "Ten more minutes and we need to go. Mom's got things to do today."

The kids want time to play this morning, but there's no time. She needs to get to the gym! She needs to measure up and feel good, she needs to focus on herself! They can play in the gym's childcare can't they? They'll get their play time there. After all, all her time is focused on her kids. After her workout she needs to finish errands, shop for an outfit for a dinner party she's hosting tomorrow, pick up groceries, and then take the older kids to a class. Then she needs to go home, unload her groceries, put the kids down for a nap, and start things for her party tomorrow. She also needs to do some work on her part time home business. Although her husband makes a decent income, she needs more. She needs her shopping money and her "stuff" money. She deserves it, doesn't she? She needs to see the check with her name on it every month. She feels validated and she feels worthy.

After the kids nap she needs to take the two older kids to sports practice and the younger one is along for the ride. They'll eat a quick dinner on the go because that is all they have time for. She'll come home after sports and bathe the kids and feed them a snack. They play for awhile while she watches a new episode of her favorite show. Her kids ask her to play with them. She says "not now. I've been with you all day! I just want to watch my show."  The kids will watch a show or two when they're done playing and they'll go to bed.  She'll catch up on a few more shows after they are asleep. She'll chat with her husband for ten minutes during commercials.

The next morning she does her usual morning routine and gets her kids up. They seem tired and cranky, but she's got to take the older two to preschool, drop the baby at a childcare center and then get to her hair appointment. She runs to the store after her hair appointment with her youngest child, having forgotten a few things for the dinner party she's having. After the store she picks up her other children from preschool and they go home for a snack and nap time.

During their nap she prepares for her dinner party. She wants the house to look perfect! The kids wake up from their nap and she dresses them to the nines for the party. The kids want to play but she doesn't want their toys out around the house. She scurries around to get the finishing touches ready for her dinner party. She checks her twitter, facebook and instagram accounts. She uploads some photos to her instagram of her child having a great time at preschool! She uploads some pictures to facebook of her party preparations. She puts a few more photos of her bathroom remodel. She goes to put on makeup, styles her hair, and puts on the new outfit she bought. The guests arrive for her dinner party and they are all having a great time! How they admire her newly decorated and remodeled bathroom! Her husband seems tired as he gives a weary smile to the guests. She doesn't know what is bothering him. She hurriedly puts the kids to bed early so she can continue with her party. She'll have a late night cleaning up but she'll drink extra coffee in the morning.

She's got another busy day tomorrow! Sports practices and kids classes, errands and the gym. Preparing to host an event for a group she's involved in at church. She wouldn't know what to do with extra time on her hands. How would she entertain her kids all the time if everything weren't so busy? They'd drive her nuts! Sometimes her heart says something is off, but she ignores it. Everyone else is pulling this off, so why can't she? She can be superwoman too. She doesn't want to seem different. She certainly wants to be one of the in crowd. Certainly God requires her to try her best at everything.

This schedule goes on for many years. Her younger two children are in college and her oldest is married. Her nest is empty. She can't remember the things that filled her time for all those years. Her husband seems distant. She can't remember the last time they really talked. Where are the fruits of all her activities--- all the "to do" lists? They seemed so important at the time. Her kids are struggling in life. Didn't she provide them with the best activities, preschools and the best birthday parties? Their faith is wavering and she doesn't know why. Didn't she take them to church enough? Maybe she should have involved herself more in church, maybe she should have led more Bible studies. They call her every few weeks but beyond that she feels she is disconnected from their lives. "Oh well," she passively thinks, "this is just what happens when they grow up." She can't recall her children's favorite games, or funny things they said. She can't recall morning snuggles and playing yet another morning game of "feed the dolly breakfast." She can't recall the quirks of her children's childhood personalities or the time she spent with them.

Wasn't she a great mom? Wasn't she the ideal American supermom?

Read part 2 here:

 "She was loud and rebellious, her feet would not stay at home." Proverbs 7:11

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1



  1. Thank you for this post. The first part is very sad isn't it? I memorised the scripture Proverbs 7:11 and it gives me a powerful image of what I want to avoid in my life. My version says 'She is loud and stubborn. Her feet abide not at home'

    I am looking forward to Part two.


  2. Very nice post. I am looking forward to the second part.

  3. Looking back on my life, I know I failed many times as a mom - although my children say otherwise. I also wonder how on earth I accomplished as much as I did! The grace of God! That's how!

  4. This is a really great 'wake up' call. It is only the grace of God that any of our children turn out to love and serve Him. Even if we spent lots of time with our children doing all the right things, they have a free will and choose whether to serve Him or not. As moms we tend to look back on our life and feel like a failure just because of our fallen nature. I pray over my past and mistakes that God would cover it all with His grace and work in each of my children's live in whatever way they need it. Turning my into something that glorifies Him. I quite my graveyard job and stayed home to homeschool our children, didn't go to the gym, stayed home most of the time, and took them where I needed to go. God is good and He is merciful and full of grace.

  5. I've read several posts on this topic recently.
    and I hear often "She was such a good mom, why have her children gone astray?"
    I want relationship with my children, I want them to see me in relationship with Christ.
    Thank you for sharing this message.

  6. I weep as I read this, because before I came to know the Lord (in my early 20s) this was the life I wanted for myself!! I went to college with the goal of being a career-minded mom who had the best of everything worldly. Thank You, Father, that Your desires & callings for us are more beautiful than our own! My husband often reminds me that if I knew ten years ago that I'd be a stay-at-home homeschooling mom of 3, I would have run hard in the other direction. I am SO grateful every day that His bands of love gently draw me to Himself and that He has given me three daughters to guide in His ways!

    I'm visiting from the Teaching What is Good link-up!

  7. Oh yes. We rush through life only to look back and and what do we see? Memories of love and laughter? Or pure loneliness? Great encouragement.

    Thank you for linking up with Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday!

  8. Wow, what a post! And let me just say, that Prov. 7:11 speaks volumes. Thanks for sharing this!


  9. Wow. Very powerful message. Thank you for sharing!

    I found your post through the Homemaking Link-Up.

  10. Interesting series idea... it's easy to buy into being a "supermom" isn't it?

  11. Thank you for the honesty of this.